Just Breathe

I never hear the birds anymore. Lying in bed at the age of ten, I remember listening to the hum of the lawnmower while my dad cut the grass. With my window cracked, I could smell the fresh cuttings, and feel a gentle breeze. My bedtime was eight o'clock, so during the summer months, it was quite light outside. I would often lay awake daydreaming and listening to the birds. The mourning doves sang their mellow coo while the robins chirped warning of a looming red tail hawk. My mind would wander, and my imagination would run as I relaxed and daydreamed. Since growing up, I often recall this specific memory with fondness and longing. I often wonder why these moments of just being still and listening to the birds are so few nowadays. 

          Let me bring you to the present time. I have found when I get up in the morning, I reach for my phone. Whether its watching videos or playing music, silence is not something I encounter daily. In fact, I tend to fill my life with things to hide from the quiet moments. I fear if my life is quiet and calm, the anxiety that builds in my mind will take over. My phone is a distraction I thrust upon myself out of fear of boredom. My efforts to drown out the silent moments in my life are a vain attempt to suffocate the whirlwind that is my mind. I feel like I am on a quest, always looking for the next thing to capture my attention. This is not how I want to live. It can be so hard to put my phone down and unplug, but I do it. Deleting social media off my phone improves my mental state. When I find myself exhausted from running from everything, I try to remember to find moments to slow down and listen to the birds. The peace and serenity of those childhood evenings laying on my bed listening to the birds are something I find myself longing for. 

Listening to the birds has become a symbol for me to slow down. Unplugging is a first step to enjoying the little moments.  Life should not be a rush all the time. Turning off the music is okay. Not distracting myself from my mind is okay. How can I process and heal if I am always running? I want to be someone who lives in the small moments. Taking the time to enjoy my morning coffee ritual is a simple joy. Making sure to kiss my husband every day when he comes home from work with a smile starts our evening off right. Enjoying every sunset with awe and appreciation for this beautiful world that God created for us. I am so thankful for the moments of peaceful serenity, and it is up to me to create those moments in my life. Life is beautiful while listening to the gentle sounds of the birds.